Seen

This is a poem about body image, body hatred, and exploring sexuality with a new lover while wrestling with those .. and losing.

 

Seen

 

 

 

I asked for the lights out.

 

Hidden beneath piles of your blankets,

 

I wasn’t strong enough to let you undress me.

 

When your hand accidentally pushed the fabric aside

 

Exposing my stomach to the dark of your room,

 

I snapped out of the moment with you;

 

That precious, much anticipated moment,

 

To clutch the blankets tight around my waist

 

In apology.

 

 

 

When you looked down the length of me,

 

I couldn’t look at your face.

 

I didn’t want to see you struggle to be okay with my body.

 

In that moment,

 

I regretted every French fry that has ever touched my lips.

 

My eyes shut tight, as if I could blank out your view,

 

I missed the way you gazed at me,

 

Imagining instead a look of disgust –

 

Though I have never seen anything less than love on your face.

 

 

 

I lost myself to the moment only once.

 

Your eyes latched onto mine,

 

Your hands exploring every curve of me.

 

I was lost in your gaze

 

And for a few minutes I could feel you.

 

I could feel your desire for me,

 

And I was too lost in your eyes

 

To deny it.

 

 

 

 

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