The Changing Leaves – Writing Divorce

Nearly two years ago, my partner of 12 years and I walked away from our partnership, in two different directions in life.  There was a lot of hurt that had been building for years. Even when two people agree to separate, even when both of you want to set out in life looking for something new, it hurts.  More comes unraveled than you even realize.  I wrote this last year, marking a year since the decision to divorce.  I was trying to capture how our relationship had weathered so much, but didn’t make it out unharmed.  I was trying to find a poetic way to say that only through divorcing was I able to finally really fully feel love from him, this was not his fault.  I wanted to say, that despite years of pain, there were moments where we shared absolute beauty.  For us, these moments so often occurred in nature.  Now, almost 2 years later, it feels appropriate to finally share this piece.

 

We fell with the last leaf of autumn.

A quiet beauty of colors against blue sky,

Turned brittle brown and left forgotten

As the fiery oranges and golden hues

faded into long winter days.

Through four seasons

we scraped our brokenness,

Gathered the trampled mulch,

And waited for new growth

We survived a harsh winter

Spring storms

Sweltering heat

To gather again the debris

To learn the depth of rocky soil

The richness of what has decayed

Our branches reached out more than once

An effort to touch the missing leaves

But fallen leaves die their quiet death

And we cannot undo years of sorrow

For moments of sunlight over an Ozark hill

When the first leaf begins to turn

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